Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Criterion is making me salivate....

I need a Blu-Ray player stat. All these being released soon by Criterion. My head just went POP.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Twisting Tongues on Terribly Boring Day

For the most part this week, I have not taught any classes. After a week long vacation, i'm feeling a bit rusty, and this is making it even worse. Preparations for field day are taking precedent over classes all week, preparations which include; synchronized "She's All That" type dancing, and eerie military like marching on the field. That said, I've spent all my free time on Monday with no class, planning for the whole week, all lesson which I now have not taught and are just going to be rolled over into next week. Oh the joys of being a teacher in Korea.

That said I decided to fine tune one of my lessons for the week, by throwing in some non-sensical tongue twisters to help kids practice their phonics.  I think you can tell by their escalation in weirdness that I'm getting a little bit delirious today. This week it's letters A-E, so ultimately I should have a whole alphabets worth of these to weird kids out with. I really want to do some illustrations for some of them as well.


A
Aardvarks always assume accurately
The apple aggressively ate another apples arm
Adventures alone aren't always all that awesome
The ape arranged an absurdly awesome outfit


B
Bicycles bound bouncily along the big black bricks
I bought brown bananas at a big blue barn
The baboon bakes big beautiful buns
The blue balloon is bigger than the brown bunny

C
The cat called the cranky crow a cruel name
I went camping in a canyon with a cool cat named Carl
The cold cookie and the crayon couldn’t clear customs
The caterpillar creeps calmly along side the crusty clown

D
The donkey dodged the dastardly dragon
The dog ducked to avoid the ducks drooping drapes
Ducks don’t dance on the day after a death
Dirt drenched dolphins don’t do drinks on days that contain the letter “d”

E 
Eager elephants eat evil elves
Everyday eggs are eaten an eel escapes from E-mart
Eagles have enormous, elegant, earthy ears
Every time emus run errands, Elmo escorts them

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Korean Karpool

She picks me up on the morning after the typhoon "ravaged the land."

She smiles, nods, pushes aside her rainbow umbrella, and motions for me to sit in the back seat. A backseat completely void of safety restraints.

I'm 8 again. On the big yellow school bus, praying the bus driver isn't leading me to a firey death in which I'm ejected through the winshield

I creek onto the brittle macro-may seat covers, as she slides on her long, bone white, driving gloves. She places them, with authority, on her shimmering bedazzled steering wheel.

She releases the e-brake, nearly kills it, and stops a block later, and begins to feverishly check her cell phone.

Another teacher, "Mary," finally enters.

"Mary" tells me everyday "you look like boy."

"Mary" and "the driver," whose name I don't, and may never know converse sporadically.

Between the "bongs" and the "bops," I occasionally hear what sounds vaguely like "Tay-ler," and polite giggling follows.

"Mary" tells me the driver would like to speak with me, but she doesn't speak English much, or very well.

Smoke spews into the cabin, via the dash. We stop in the middle of traffic.

"The driver" gets out. Stares at the hood briefly. Does nothing, and then re-enters the car.

With her short gaze, she apparently cauterized the beast's wound. We were on our way.

After 45 minutes of pure silence, "the driver" breaks her English celibacy.

"You not here at 5:00...I leave you."

I exit the car, and saunter up my jungle road.

She releases her e-brake, spews smoke, and puts away.